Utena Forever
by Anthiena
Summary: Touga must reunite the Student Council in order for Utena to be foundbut how long and how much will it take? Manga ending. On Best of UtenaUnexpected Encounters C2 group.
1. Chptr 1

I treat Touga very kindly in this fic, and use the ending of the manga. (Sort of) He really does love her in the manga. So enjoy. The last two lines are like prose almost. One strong word, and most SKU fans will agree with me/Touga calling Akio that.

Otou-sama no Kitai, Touga Note: I could translate this as "Prince of Hope", but "kitai" can mean "Hope, expectation, anticipation" or oddly enough, "danger, jeopardy, distress". Either one would work for this. I got my translation from: http/ Words to Know: Anou...-Well... (In this situation) jiki- despair, desperation, abandonment Aisiteru- I love you Onii-sama - Big brother, respected brother (Take your pick) Sayanara- Literally, "Long goodbye" --On with the story-- Anou... where do I start? My past? My problems? My embarrassing failures? My life before Ohtori is mostly boring. Except for the day I found a living girl in a coffin... I saw her years later... and fell in love.

She probably hates me. She thinks I'm like that Akio. I do see some resemblance in my actions, but I assure anyone reading this that it is far from true.

Now... because of him, I may never see her again. Despair... I feel "jiki"... despair, desperation, abandonment- all apply... ...and yet I hope.

Anthy searches for her, and I stay in this cursed place. It stagnates without her... she was the power here. Not that devil, Akio. I wonder sometimes.

I am mostly alone. It is my wish for now. What is that? I never noticed a mirror in here... I look in the mirror. I am in my own home, in a rarely used room.

I see a familiar girl in the mirror... it is Utena!

I touch the mirror, and it stops me from going any further. I feel tears begin to fall down my cheek. I barely take notice. "Aishiteru, Utena... I'm telling the truth!" She began to fade. "Utena!" I cried, my voice contorted by sorrow. I fell down.

I decided that not even that will stop me from finding her. My sister came to me. "Have you been crying?" She said, confused.

"Not anymore." I told her.

I went to my room, packed some clothes, and carried it with me. Nanami followed me, curious. "Onii-sama, what are you doing!" She cried, sounding afraid.

"I am leaving, Nanami." I said simply. "But why?" She wailed. "I need to find someone I knew a long time ago." I replied.

"When will you come back?" She asked, still fearful.

"I don't know." I admitted. "Sayonara, Nanami. Grow up beautiful and strong. Love someone who loves you back." I embraced her, and then walked away.

I am sure I will never see her again. But if I die without seeing her, I know that even in Eternity I will see her again, and be with Utena... Forever... 


	2. Notice

Okay. I have had this story on the net since summer of '04. I WILL get to this story, but right now, I have to find chapter 2 for this. I know where I want to go, and how I want it to end, which is rare for me. Please be patient with me. I never knew this story would get some good complements-maybe even "popular". (SFMMF had ONE fan.) I am also going to get another story of mine up ASAP. There WILL be more. I am NOT abandoning thins fic like SFMMF. It's too darn good. 


	3. Ramble On

Utena Forever

Notes: A few things to say. Dreams is owned by Fleetwood Mac, Ramble On is owned by Led Zepplin, and I have decided to make each chapter read like a short story. The lyrics is what I hear and how they should be arranged. It worked well in Chapter 1, so thus I continue it. Thanks to my reveiwers. I also lost the original Chapter Two, but I decided to just make a new one, which is a GOOD thing. I said I wouldn't abandon this fic! About Melody-I wrote that two years ago.Cassie

Ramble On

It has been a while since I left home to search for Utena. I send many postcards home and talk to Nanami over the phone. Right now she talks about a boy that insists on being around her. He doesn't know me. I also speak with Saionji. He thinks I'm crazy.

Maybe we have all changed.

Neither Nanami nor Saionji remember a girl of Utena's name or description. I almost didn't. I loved her truely like nothing else in my life-not even Nanami. Akio couldn't take my memories. . . but he tried-that .

...but even _he_ didn't know what Utena had acheived. Maybe Utena didn't know either.

Maybe she didn't even remember.

I pulled over in my rented car and took many deep breaths. The mere thought made my blood run cold. She had to remember. Had to. The radio played an _Eigo_ song as I started to drive.

_...dreams of loneliness__  
__like a heartbeat__  
__drives you mad__  
__and you still have all of the__  
__memories of__  
__what you had; what you love__  
__what you hate; what you lost__  
__oh thunder rollin'__  
__candles burnin'__  
__it's rainin'__  
__Players only love you when they're playin'..._

I changed the station. I understood English decently well. Did the world want me to wallow in misery and boredom? I would act. It is my place to do that; even if I must look for Utena forever.

I can do no less.

Next: Firefly Utena

An old aquaintence from Ohtori joins the search with a girl who was targeted by Akio to take part in new Duels... but what part was she really to play?


	4. Firefly Utena

Utena Forever

Chapter 3: Firefly Utena

Note: Sorry it's taking me so long! I only have a half-hour each day I get on, and there ARE other things I have to do. I have short chapters so I can type them in a day, and my typing is fairly average. I can assure you that I know exactly what I am going to do with this story. Thanks to my fans for the new ideas. It brings new life to my writing. I have also decided to bring Unfinished Melody's companion story to the net after I am done with this. I have decided to make this a trilogy. You should know that it may take me a while to get it done, but it will be worth the wait! Please note I use both Anthy and Anshii alternatively as both are correct IMHO- Also Revolutionist and Victor of the Duels.

Names:

Hououno Bara: Rose's Phoenix

Jidaino Hotaru: Firefly/ghost of life

Cassie

I had already forgotten the name of the town, but I knew that it was a college town. I do know that the College was called Hououno Bara University. It was rather small, but busy. I was having tea in one of the student hang-outs. I heard a very familiar laugh. I turned around, and noticed a couple through the stained glass window I had missed. It was Utena and Anthy! Had to be! I had to act casual and nonchalant. _Take it easy, Touga._ I told myself. I calmed myself and stepped forward. "Hello, Anshii. It has been a long time." I said coolly.

I then noticed that the coloring of the "Utena" was far different from the one I knew. She had grey eyes and soft lavender hair. She was also more slender-not athletic as Utena was.

"Touga, this is Jidaino Hotaru. Hotaru, this is Kiryuu Touga. This is not the one we seek." She said with complete aplomb.

I stared. I didn't bother asking her how she knew. "So, Hotaru. . . how did you meet my old classmate?" I asked.

I was so disappointed. I had been expecting Utena…

"You are rather direct." She commented. "She saved me from Akio and my life."

"My brother was trying to restart the Duels. I saved one from participating. I am sure she was to be Revolutionist." She was so different. More open and confident.

"The Revolution has done wonders with us, Anshii." I said with a smile. "We have changed for the better."

"No. We have become our true selves. The self that was you at Ohtori was a mere shadow."

I didn't really understand, but I didn't try. Anshii was in a class of her own in understanding what had happened. "So are you still looking for Utena?"

"Yes. I knew you would find your way here. We may need another Revolution to find her, or what's left of her."

"How are we to do that? More Duels? I won't have anything to do with it." I said darkly.

"No. It won't be forced. Something tells me it will be years before the next Duels are fought. You will be nearly middle-aged by then, Touga."

"Can we stop it?"

"No. It will be the last, though. I have waited three years for you to find me."

Blood drained from my face. "Three… _years?_" I was in shock. I lost track of the days of my travels… but surely-it hadn't been three _years_! "Tell me you mean months."

She looked at me with wide eyes. "I had figured time had been kind to you… but now I realize that was a foolish assumption. You have not aged at all since I last saw you. Fate has something in store for you. We must go now if time has stopped for you as it had for me. This is horrible. What has done this to you, Touga?" She looked concerned.

"I… don't know. We have to find Utena. That's all I know."

That was how I began my travels again-only this time, I had Anshii and Hotaru with me.

Next chapter: Interlude

Hotaru has a small bit to explain in her perspective.


	5. Interlude

Chapter 4: Interlude

Note: This chapter only is in Hotaru's POV. She did not get much chance to speak in Chapter 3, but this should tell you tons more about her. I have a very clear idea now where I want to take this story. It may not be what you think. You WILL see the real ending of the manga. It will take a while, so patience. Thanks to my reviewers. I hope I won't disappoint you.

My name is Jidaino Hotaru-Firefly or Ghost of Life. My name mocks me, becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy. The life I live is a mockery in itself. I was a loner child, a solitary student who usually didn't lead. No close ties-not even to my parents.

I was in a car wreck with my parents. Someone pulled me out, my parents already dead. That someone was Himemiya Anthy. The car exploded just as we came to be far enough to be unhurt by the blast. I was very lucky.

I am absolutely neutral on what they are looking for: A girl who may not even exist anymore. -of my companions? I am eternally grateful to Anthy. Touga stares at me like I'm some kind of ghost. I understand completely about my striking resemblance to the girl we seek. It still creeps me out.

They believed two things about me. Both at first thought I was the one they seek. They no longer believe that. They also believe that I was to be the Victor of the Duels, or the Revolutionist.

They are sadly mistaken.

I have heard all that Anthy has to tell about Ohtori, and I came a very different conclusion. I am nothing like the Victors she has told me about. I am not noble. I am not innocent. I am no fighter. I have no ties as mentioned before. I could only have one use. I could only have one purpose.

I was to be RoseBride.

Next: Perfect Silence  
The group is demoralized and doubtful. Then they meet two people Touga thought he might never see again.


	6. Perfect Melody

Utena Forever  
Chapter 5: Perfect Melody  
Note: I have shortened it so I can actually finish typing. The bits I cut out aren't really that important, anyway... Sorry for the long delay. Life just hit me with all it's might with all that has happened the past year and I just could not get myself to get down to business and TYPE! Hopefully, I will have this up before long. The story SHOULD be finished by 2006 at the very latest. I am currently planning Utena After and Tears of Light which will completely blow this fic out of the water.  
Japanese:  
Hai-Yes  
Moshi, Moshi des'(u)-Hello, Residence (it is)

How long have we traveled? Three noble souls-one seeking love, one seeking truth, one seeking because it is the right thing to do.

Each of us have escaped the coffins prepared for us.

I, Kiryuu Touga with Himemiya Anshii and Umimori Hotaru travel to find Tenjou Utena. Maybe she doesn't exist anymore. Maybe we will search forever.

Hotaru has become despondent, not talking or reacting to much. Anshii believes Akio might be trying to make a last ditch effort to keep her. Who knows. We are questioning our assumption that Hotaru is a Duelist.

I am starting to despair. I am losing hope. I am back to the mirror that d me with the image of Utena.

Was it even real? I wonder.

"Perhaps we should see the show. _Sunlit Memory_... that sounds like Miki.." Anshii noted. Hotaru was silent as usual. I merely shrugged vaugely. "Fine. We will go. I for one am going to enjoy it."

We had changed. Has it been for the better? For Anshii, maybe it is to the person she would have grown to be. Nanami no long adores me... as much. Saiyonji has become stronger and regained his sanity. Juri... I honestly don't know. Miki obviously has done well for himself at least.

The concert was a great departure from Miki's usually uninspired melodies. He played something quite different. Not only Sunlit Garden, but rock-driven songs unusually intense for the musician_. Oh my god... Miki HAS changed... _But there was something that bothered me: each of the songs seemed to be about Duellists, including myself. When it was done, I had decided to talk to him. "Well, Miki, it seems that your playing no longer lacks power." I called to him.

His eyes seemed to get wide. "That can only be one person... Touga? Is that you?" He looked at me, startled.

"_Hai._" I see that you have done well for yourself." I replied.

"Six years have done wonders for me, but I feel... that there are a few pieces missing from my life. Maybe the Student Council has something to do with it; I remember very little of that time."

"I remember it like it was yesterday." I said dryly. "Maybe we should have a reunion." I suggested.

"So what brings you to this part of Hokkaidou?"

"I'm looking for Utena as are Anshii and Hotaru."

He looked long and hard at Hotaru. His eyes widened further. "You look like Utena! Just different coloring." He closed his eyes. "Wait one day; I might go with you. I'll get you a spot at our hotel."

Hotaru ended up sharing a room with the daughter of a violin-player who was _really_ friendly. She made me think of Shinohara Wakaba. I shared a room with Anshii. Because of the number of visiters, booking was a little tight.

The room was huge. I volunteered for the couch, as the room was single occupency. "Don't be ridiculous, Touga. We can share. We are both adults with self-control."

Or so she said. Both of us were awake two hours after we went to bed. "This is _really_ awkward." I commented.

"You're right. How can I fall asleep tense like this?"

"I'll deal with the couch. I want sleep!" I groaned.

It was twenty minutes later when I realized that I had done the noble thing to do.

Miki had been waiting for us when us three came down for his decision. He bowed stiffly to us. "I'll go. Alone. Right away. You need to get your sister, now. We are close to the Kiryuu summer residence, _ne_?"

"_Hai._ She sould be there." I told him. "It'll take us two days to get there. What makes you think we need Nanami?"

"Eggs?" Anshii asked.

"Somehow, I highly doubt that. Call up Saionji and have him meet us there. Destiny calls us ex-Duellists together one last time." He said with conviction.

"What makes you so sure?"

"I saw a miracle; so beautiful and terrible... but I don't think I'll ever talk about it. We need everyone from the Student Council to find Utena."

I felt a little off when I called Saionji. The fool _might_ say yes-or no. How were we going to talk Juri into going with us? Blackmail her?

It would take a miracle...

...but maybe that was the point. It would take a miracle to find Utena. Someone picked up. "_Moshi moshi, Saionji des._'" It was his voice.

"Saionji. It's been a while." I kept my voice nuetral.

"_Touga_?" he said incredulously. "I haven't heard from you in years? Where have you _been_?"

"Looking for Utena, of course. I need your help. I need all the old Student Council members from our year."

He made a sound of disgust. "So. The only reason you've called me is that you need something from m. So Touga-what do you need from me _this_ time? My soul?"

"I wouldn't ask you of something you couldn't give. I am not the only one that needs you. So are you going to help me or not?" I said impatiently.

"So where are you? Shanghai? Paris? Brussels?" He was being sarcastic.

"Two days away from the Kiryuu summer residence. I need you to be there when I get there."

"You . I'm not your servent, nor am I your friend anymore. I won't."

"Before you hang up, I'll remind you that you do this for three other people."

"QUIT TOYING WITH ME!" he roared.

"Consider it, Saionji. Have you become a better man since then? If you feel it has, do it for whatever made you a better man." I hung up.

I prayed silently that Saionji would be there.

Next: Nanami's Heart- When the group arrives at Touga's summer home, everything seems to go wrong. Will Nanami refuse as well?


	7. Nanami's Heart

t Utena Forever Nanami's Heart Tidbits:  
Nanami's old turns of speech suit her nicely, I think-do you? Something about her is always a bit over the top. :D Nice comic relief.  
Diet- Japanese congress.  
Loyal Opposition-The minority. Actually an English term. (As in England)

[Nanami  
I hadn't seen much of my adopted father the night I left-mother had left "for some reason" a year ago. I would suppose it to be because Touga left, though it took her long enough. I had simply had enough of her dressing me like a doll and trying to instill her remarkably bad taste on me. I had no words for her when she left and rightly so. I had an old friend I could rely on instead of her and the father-person who haunts the halls when there isn't some trivial fete going on.

I have "nobler" dreams than the normal debutante, I suppose. I wish to serve upon the Diet in time. Spirits help me-I will do it without the impotent Kiryuus, though their riches and connections I now hold utter indifference to will serve me well in an eventual bid to win a vaulted seat among them. Perhaps among the Loyal Opposition? I shall see.

I am at once, not much and much like the sister that my dear brother knew before he left. Before the black hole in my memory. I no longer have that blind, unreasoning jealousy, though... I do miss him.

Hell-I even miss the way he paraded his conquests around.

I don't suppose I shall ever see him again, but I have a good place to start when I start looking for him. Kyouichi is sure to be the first person he checks with. Haruichi, in the meantime, shall benefit from the adopted, last known scion of House Kiryuu.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" I glared at him as he read that entry from my diary. "Nana-chan, do you really talk like that? Not one soul on this earth I know actually talks like that!" He laughed in mirth.

"For your information, my diary is for my eyes only!" I fumed. "Besides-I talk like that." Both he and Kyouichi, who was waiter at the resturaunt we were eating at, looked at me with interesting expressions. "Well... occasionally."

"Nanami... the reason I called is because someone wanted to meet us here and surprise you. I told him you hadn't been at the Kiryuu mansion in over a year and..."

A number of people had been gathered near the gate and the red headed one turned around and I immediately knew who he was... and suddenly I felt something I had never felt toward my brother before: Disappointed anger amid the surprise.

[Touga  
Nanami had slapped me instead of saying anything. Not that I blame her. How long I had been gone... "Four years, Touga! Four years I have waited for you!" She yelled. "Why the hell could you call Saionji and not me!? I'm your sister; your only blood relation!"

Ouch. Still... it was true. All of it. "Wait a minute-" Miki interrupted. "Four? I thought it was three!"

Juri frowned. She had been in some swordfighting school when we found her and she had decided to come with us so she could figure out the hole in her memory. "This is some sort of time trap. For most of our stops to find the Duellists, a year passes. It's like we are moving forward in time slower than the rest of the world-you still look like you are seventeen, where Miki appears to be sixteen and I am now physically a year older than you! If we continue this way, we may find Utena an old woman. You may have to settle with Hotaru if you wish for a look a like."

The fair Hotaru looked worried. "...but I hardly know Touga..."

We all stared at her a moment. Anthy sighed. "I think the magic and illusions of Ohtori are following us. My brother would not wish to lose his pillar to time." At more stares, she elaborated. "Surely... one of you must read comics...?" She shook her head. "At any rate, the time bubble might be popped if we just find Utena. It is a matter of gaining the Duellists who fought during her time."

I frowned deeply. Saionji was now older than I was and still hurt... "My friend... I don't deserve you, but if you want to be foolish and selfish as I was in Ohtori, you may never hear from me again... but if not..."

"Don't just talk to me, Touga. Ask your sister for forgiveness." He stated. He looked at her, a gentle look in his eyes I had not seen before.

Haruichi scoffed. "This is too strange. I think I shall go elsewhere. It was really nice being your friend, Nanami. I will meet you again someday, but for now, I have to get back to college."

The boy left. "Who was he?"

Nanami stared after him. "He was my first love. I have been only his friend, but we drifted further and further apart. I... have other interests." She turned around and gave Kyouichi a smile. "I think... I can forgive you in having a life Touga." She faced me and gave me a hug.

Hotaru looked out across the streets. "We need to go to the Netherlands. Perhaps we can find clues there."

Anthy turned to Hotaru, surprised. "Amsterdam or The Hauge?" She asked.

"Amsterdam. Most definently Amsterdam."

Next: Saionji and Hotaru's Tears 


End file.
